& you're a mystery i can never figure

Saturday, May 31, 2008

12:51 AM

photos from yesterday!

CAFE CARTEL = FREE FLOW OF BREAD :D

chewpin & me with a cutesy little boy behind!

girls day out :)

ehh-amm-ehh-ann-dee-ehh said:
hey yo
just wanna say that i miss and love you!
[j] i [n] g [w] e [n] said:
nssn outing soon i promise!

gosh, i miss NSSN like crazy! especially all the fun fun fun people. :D
the gathering has been put on hold because its like super difficult to find a date where most of them will be free. bleargh and sometimes i really wonder if i have that LEAVE-IT-TO-ME face, thats why everyone's asking me to plan all the gatherings. HAHA. im not complaining though, its a pleasure to plan such meet ups, especially when it works. :)

oh oh, and i just received a call from my primary school tuition friend, whom i have not seen or heard from for like four and a half years, & we're going to have a reunion next week! gosh, i wonder how i am going to recognise him amidst the crowd. how cool. ;)

speaking of gatherings;

because the heart never lies.

5:05 PM

From the minute that you got my attention
I was taken and I have to mention
I was trying to not let it show
But I knew I wasn't gonna let you go
From the way that you came right to me
Looking all hot with the style that threw me
No one would've ever known it
You would be the one who take this heart and hold it

You got that extraordinary way
Got to be next to ya every single day
You do something that I just can't explain
Wanna take the chance and tell you you're the one for me

Boy, I love you so
Just look in my eyes, they'll tell you where this could go
Yeah
Do you know it
Boy, I love you so
Look in these eyes, they'll tell you where this could go
I just want you to know

You can san say anything you want to
No stress 'cause I understand you
We got a vibe you can't define
Want everyone know that boy is mine
We won't fight and stop and stare at the way you hold me
You take me there at times
I feel I lose control
Forget everyone but the hand I'm holding

You got that extraordinary way
Got to be next to ya every single day
You do something that I just can't explain
Wanna take the chance and tell you you're the one for me

Boy, I love you so
Just look in my eyes, they'll tell you where this could go
Yeah
Can you feel it
Boy, I love you so
Look in these eyes, they'll tell you where this could go
I just want you to know

Please know this
I'll always be right here
And you don't have to look
Nowhere else babe
Don't think for a minute
This love will change
Oh you should know that

Boy, I love you so
Just look in my eyes, they'll tell you where this could go
Yeah
Can you feel it
Boy, I love you so
Look in these eyes, they'll tell you where this could go
I just want you to know

Boy, I love you so
Just look in my eyes, they'll tell you where this could go
Yeah
Can you feel it
Boy, I love you so
Look in these eyes, they'll tell you where this could go
I just want you to know

because the heart never lies.

1:44 PM

its almost two in the afternoon and im stuck at home alone.
went back to school for one pathetic hour of chem today. in fact, only forty minutes because the teacher took the first twenty minutes to settle us down. wth. wanted to pon school lah, but then again, there's nothing to do at home and thats equally sucky. at times like this i really wish i can occupy myself with something more meaningful. :/

yesterday was lunch at cafe cartel with the girls, and lunch at nyp today with the class guys. im spending way too much, & eating way too much. :(

& i can only blame myself for being such an indecisive fool. right now there's no use holding on to it anymore, but i dont know how to let it go. i tried burying myself in work every night, but it doesnt help at all because nothing's going in. i hate sleepless nights. :(

i need to find a study buddy soon. the more the merrier! so please please ask me out and muggggggggg!

ahhh i am craving for donuts,
& i am craving for you. :( :( :(

what to do now;

because the heart never lies.

12:47 AM

Today, I:
-slept at 5am in the morning
-followed my heart, but against my conscience
-had pepper lunch for lunch
-explored the east
-finally got my scores
-got cut by glass on the way home
-lost 1kg!
[edit]
-came up with a study timetable which i most prolly will not keep to :/
[/edit]

bleargh, there's pw workshop tmrw. no more waking up late for the next few days. :(

something so small is enough to make my day;

because the heart never lies.

12:41 AM

Dear, I fear we're facing a problem
you love me no longer, I know
and maybe there is nothing
that I can do to make you do
Mama tells me I shouldn't bother
that I ought to stick to another man
a man that surely deserves me
but I think you do!

So I cry, and I pray and I beg

Love me love me
say that you love me
fool me fool me
go on and fool me
love me love me
pretend that you love me
leave me leave me
just say that you need me

So I cried, and I begged for you to
Love me love me
say that you love me
leave me leave me
just say that you need me
I can't care about anything but you

Lately I have desperately pondered,
spent my nights awake and I wonder
what I could do have done in another way
to make you stay
Reason will not lead to solution
I will end up lost in confusion
I don't care if you really care
as long as you don't go

So I cry, I pray and I beg

Love me love me
say that you love me
fool me fool me
go on and fool me
love me love me
pretend that you love me
leave me leave me
just say that you need me

So I cried, and I begged for you to
Love me love me
say that you love me
leave me leave me
just say that you need me
I can't care about anything but you

Love me love me
say that you love me
fool me fool me
go on and fool me
Love me love me
I know that you need me
I can't care about anything but you

because the heart never lies.

12:26 AM

thank you chermms, chewps & sheqal for all the encouraging messages. i really wouldnt have known what to do if not for my great bunch of friends! KEEP THE HOPE & FAITH! yeah i'll try.

i feel as though im slowly wasting my time away. tried to do a little bit of studying with gay today but i only completed one-third of a chapter. many many more to go. & i tried playing the alto today, after so long. i think im losing my stamina. :(

going back to school for the next few days, and then performance's on sunday! 14 songs in total but right now i havent even seen any of the scores lah. just hope that i wont screw up! :/

when i'm no longer the one you're looking for;

because the heart never lies.

2:32 PM

You ask me if I love you
and I choke on my reply
I'd rather hurt you honestly
than mislead you with a lie
And who am I to judge you
in what you say or do
I'm only just beginning
to see the real you

And sometimes when we touch
the honesty's too much
and I have to close my eyes and hide
I want to hold you till I die
till we both break down and cry
I want to hold you till the fear in me subsides

Romance and all it's strategy
leaves me battling with my pride
But through all the insecurity
some tenderness survives
I'm just another writer
still trapped within my truth
A hesitant prize fighter
still trapped within my youth

And sometimes when we touch
the honesty's too much
and I have to close my eyes and hide
I want to hold you till I die
till we both break down and cry
I want to hold you till the fear in me subsides

At times I'd like to break you
and drive you to your knees
At times I'd like to break through
and hold you endlessly
At times I understand you
and I know how hard you try
I watched while love commands you
and I've watched love pass you by
At times I think we're drifters
still searching for a friend
a brother or a sister
but then the passion flares again

And sometimes when we touch
the honesty's too much
and I have to close my eyes and hide
I want to hold ya till I die
till we both break down and cry
I want to hold you till the fear in me subsides

because the heart never lies.

3:12 AM

met up with yanzhu at town to support junsen & the rest who were busking to raise funds for myanmar disaster! then the both of us went to far east to shop and the super spendthrift me spent more than hundred bucks buying clothes & shoes, all within an hour! HEH HEH. super broke now, but i promise to be back for the GSS soon! :D

supposed to go for vj harmoc concert with wx and hs but both of them were late and sat at the upper gallery so i sat with the band people downstairs! aww, anthea received this super huge sunflower bouquet and im super super jealous! hahaha. anyway matthew was their guest player, but it seemed like he played the most instead! lol. major camwhoring session after concert ended, there you go! :)

since its not going to work, i might as well end it right here, right now.

I WILL TRY. i must get you out of my mind.

shopping spreeeeeeeeeeeee;

because the heart never lies.

11:43 PM

You used to call me your dreamer
And now I'm living out my deam
Oh, how I wish you could see
Everything that's happening for me

I'm thinking back on the past
It's true that time is flying by too fast

I miss you
I miss your smile
And I still shed a tear
Every once in a while

And even though it's different now
You're still here somehow
My heart won't let you go
And I need you to know

I miss you
Sha la la la la
I miss you

I know you're in a better place, yeah
But I wish that I could see your face, oh
I know you're where you need to be
Even though it's not here with me

I miss you
I miss your smile
And I still shed a tear
Every once in a while

And even though it's different now
You're still here somehow
My heart won't let you go
And I need you to know

I miss you
Sha la la la la
I miss you

i miss you;

because the heart never lies.

10:17 PM

MY GP IS SO SCREWED. :(

thats it;

because the heart never lies.

9:14 PM

amanda jingwen jiaying

sn saxes :)

lovely juniors :)

JINGWENS x2

majestia at the esplanade last night! went there with my sn juniors, but i sat with the nssn people. it was super awesome, especially machu picchu & star wars. i was so close to tears towards the end of machu picchu, it just seemed so familiar & close to heart! :)

one day before the concert, jiaying & i met up in st nicks to make the presents for everyone in the band! we tried stuffing lollypops into the balloons and blew them up. chewps commented that we looked like factory workers doing the same routine again & again. then i had to lug this bulky carton of blown up balloons home. its huge but super light. LOL.

then i repeated the same routine again during my break in school & it was super painful trying to squeeze the lollypops inside without jiaying's help! hahaha. then there's that stupid incident whereby i threw my photos together with the broken balloons into the bin and we had to try and find it from that bin after that. :/

so quanli, anchun, jiaying & i shared presents for them & giving them out was a total mad rush! anchun was busy trying to blow more balloons after the concert. hahaha. imagine lugging one carton of balloons and trying to give it out to each one of the bandmember while they themselves were busy packing up & meeting their friends. in the end we didnt even finish giving out so we had to burst the rest of the balloons. so wasted.. :(

took a bus home with jiaying after the concert ended, and we reached home when its almost midnight! but luckily its the chinese mid years today and i dont have school today so i slept like a pig and woke up super late. hahaha. stayed home the whole day trying to study for GP but it seems like there's nothing much to prepare for? im bound to do badly for sure. :(

& because of the stupid GP paper tmrw, im not allowed to go back to st nicks and watch my beloved squad have their nominations tonight. in fact, its going on right now! BOO I WANT TO BE THERE! :'(

one more day before we break for the busy holidays! :)

real ignorance is bliss, pretence is not;

because the heart never lies.

9:38 PM

SAJC CONCERT AT VCH :D

no offence, but like what a typical lazy bum always do, i made a collage so i dont have to upload every single photo. & if you want any of the pics just go to my facebook album or ask from me! :D

anyway the long weekend has been kind of a roller coaster ride for me, emotionally. spent the entire saturday doing my hmwk and it was quite fulfilling i guess. supposed to study on sunday as well, but the mugging mood vanished, so i met yanzhu at the esplanade first before meeting the rest for jiaying's concert! it was great, the musical was super entertaining! & it kind of reminded me about nssn skit. aww. haha then lots of camwhoring but of course! :) erm its vesak day today! turned out to be a family day for me too. well i was supposed to go for 0308 class outing at fish & co., but i realised chances of me having lunch with my classmates are alot alot higher than having a proper meal with my mum, so i chose the latter instead. & i guess i didnt regret it lah. despite all the uncalled for arguments along the way. went to tampines ikea, courts & giant and bought quite a lot of stuff. it was considered quite a good day for me thankfully. :)

this week's kind of slack actually, only two more days of lessons before we break for holidays. BUT, mid years are starting on friday & thats freaky lah. especially when its my worst paper GP. guess what, my grades for the first ct are AABCE. & you probably guessed it correctly, i got E for GP. seriously got to pull up my socks man! :(

mum keeps complaining that my room is in a mess. & so is my life.
perhaps i should just give up.

damn you got me spinning in circles;

because the heart never lies.

10:06 PM

the song is kind of old already, but still as nice as ever. :)

because the heart never lies.

10:50 PM

CLASS OF 0308 :D

mr lee's ice cream treat!

lol chewps, mr lee & zhi'en

GP table mates!

the girls :D

just realised today's the first time i got hold of weilun's face, so i spent over 3 hours making the collage above, everything from scratch! :D

survived yet another three hours lecture at the audi! this time, the girls just keep teasing me lah wth. :/ haha. oh yes, its the last monday of the school term because next week's vesak day! :D

but today was quite a stressful day. MONDAY BLUES perhaps. then we were rushing all the tutorials and there's still make ups during the hols. then mr lee told us that we got to change our entire GPP so we got rather demoralised. :( but after school he treated us to ice cream outside school so we were happy kids again! & we camwhored! & gossiped alot beside the ice cream cart, for almost an hour. lol. YAY. :D

back to GPP again. :(

i want a teddy bear;

because the heart never lies.

11:38 PM

group photo at my favourite playground! :D

made a collage instead so my blog wont be flooded with photos! haha.

HAPPY MOTHERS' DAY TO ALL MOMMIES! I LOVE MY MOMs. :D though i highly doubt any moms will be reading this, especially mine. hahaha. anyway today was a really lovely day! except this small little incident whereby i had someone spilling curry on my clothes when i had lunch with my mom! haha. headed to icekimo in the afternoon for nssn gathering! and the group consisted of yihao, gabriel, yanzhu, jialing, amanda, mingde, jiaying, sheqal, quanli, anchun & myself! haha. then nat & his gf joined us slightly later. next station was the playground! where we celebrated jialing, amanda, sheqal & yihao's birthdays! & a little bit of "wet games" included as well. haha. only quanli, sheqal, nat, kelly & i stayed for dinner at prata house but it was still fun! i love days like this! :D

anyway backtrack a little, went to vj on friday to support wee ho for the co concert! was super late though, so i only went in with shikang & matt after the interval. co's music is really different from band's i must say. haha. cabbed back after talking to wee ho and it was almost midnight when i reached home! then yesterday was spent practising piano & making notes for mid years. :)

I CANT WAIT FOR THE HOLIDAYS TO COME! but then again, it isnt really a holiday anymore. :(

why must things be so complicated;

because the heart never lies.

10:42 PM

plaza sing :)

0308 celebrating zhi'en's birthday!

so many birthdays & concerts in may! seriously going broke now. haha. anyway life's been boring these few days, nothing much to blog about. got back geog today and it kind of caught me by surprise. thats all. :)

it's going to be friday again tmrw! :)

and you dont know how i feel;

because the heart never lies.

10:15 PM

napfa test is over! :D
scores this year are the opposite of last year's! i used to jump pathetically LESS THAN MY HEIGHT for sbj, but i managed to jump quite far today! & shuttle run improved too! but inclined was a great disappointment. ahh heck lah, at least everything's over and we dont have to keep running for PE anymore! yay.

so after pe there's the usual 4 hours break, followed by geog lecture & physics tutorial. school ended at 2.45! tuesdays are super slack days with breaks > lessons (talk abt inequalities). but today, there was the alpha talk at 5.30 so in between, i went back to st nicks with celeste to visit the band & to eat orange bowl! :D there was still time when i returned to aj so i ended up mugging with helen & sze chuan! lol, can you believe aw jing wen actually completed tutorials in advance? the word "mugging" wasnt supposed to be in my dictionary. hahaha.

oh yes, we got back our maths test paper yesterday and i got my very first A for my very first common test in aj! :D :D :D
but i doubt i'll do well for the other papers. i'm just hoping for a pass, especially for geog & physics. :/ plus, mid years timetable is already out. shitttt, i better start soon! :/

i am not good enough, and never will be;

because the heart never lies.

8:32 PM

PHOTOS TIME :D

iPOP during mass civics

taken with paul twohill (omg spastic)

track and field meet

part of 0308 outside MPH

jingwen chewps isabel peiling

part of 0308 having dinner at sumo house :)

0308 girls at the playground

visit to nanotech lab

jingwen, mandice

AJ Idol

AJ IDOL and the sponsors

the emcee

one of the performers for solo vocals

szechuan, chenghan, chewps, mandice, jingwen :)

yup, so basically thats how i spent the week despite CTs happening concurrently. forgot to mention in my previous post, 91.3FM came down for mass civics on monday, and paul twohill came down too! then the class girls went to buy the popaganda cd and we had a chance to take photo with him. dont know why he gave such a spastic face when it was my turn. :/ haha.

supposed to have both physics & chem tests on wednesday, but chem was postponed cause we didnt finish our tutorial yet. lucky for me because i only studied physics the day before, but then physics was super tough so i doubt i can pass.

then there was track & field meet on the same day. shant go into details, read chewp's blog for more info! didnt really cheer for the house, because only helen represented our class, & i dont know the rest of the competitors. plus, we were seated so far away from the rest we could hardly see whats going on. so we just sat under the shelter and had our picnic, with complimentary milo from the milo truck! haha. cheer routine obviously wasnt as good as st nicks, but i think a few of them were not too bad. :)

after sports meet ended, two-third of the class went to sumo house for dinner! after which, we went to the playground beside jubilee and played ICE & WATER and TRUTH OR DARE! its been ages since i played catching, and i think we looked kind of childish running around little kids. and truth or dare was funny too, we had so many weird dares! like moving the dustbin from one lamppost to another, shaking the tree to make the slipper drop, begging for food, etc.. basically just making a fool out of ourselves in public. haha. but who cares, it was fun! :D

labour day was spent rushing through all my undone tutorials and studying for chem. it came, and it went. :/ then it was friday again!visited the nanotech lab, mdm tay says its the one and only chance we will get to go there. so we took photos with the cool glasses that we had to wear! hahaha. xianyao gave me & chewps free tickets for aj idol! then we went to collect free early bird pizza after chem test, and i happened to be the 10th person to enter the audi so i got a free ah du cd & poster! the emcee was super entertaining. :) i rmbr he asked, "whats the best thing in AJ?" then chewps replied super loudly, "ME!" LOL. & perhaps its good karma for giving us his tickets, xianyao won a sony ericsson phone during the lucky draw! and the grand prize was a psp, but not for me. :( haha.

slacked through the entire day today. so its time to do work tmrw!

oh yes, & on a lighter note, i got through the interview for REACH Cambridge! about three more months and i'll be on my way to england! hahaha so exciting. but its gonna burn a huge huge hole in my pocket! :)

if i ain't got you;

because the heart never lies.